понедельник, 3 июля 2017 г.

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The uncontested absurdities of today are the accepted slogans of tomorrow. They come to be accepted by degrees, by precedent, by implication, by erosion, by default, by dint of constant pressure on one side and constant retreat on the other - until the day when they are suddenly declared to be the country's official ideology.


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Politiks


DNC to pick new election slogan out of three finalists: 'Give us more government or everyone dies,' 'Vote for Democrats or everyone dies,' 'Impeach Trump or everyone dies,' 'Stop the fearmongering or everyone dies'


Politiks Al Gore's "An Inconvenient Sequel: Truth to Power" is humanity's last chance to save the Earth before it ends five years ago


Experts: The more we embrace diversity the more everything is the same


BOMBSHELL: TMZ offers Kathy Griffin $5 mil to keep any future sex tape private


DEVELOPING: CNN, WaPo, NYT anonymous sources say Vladimir Putin may have ties to Russia


BREAKING: Manning and Snowden have come out with strong condemnation of Donald Trump leaking classified information to Russia


Gun store goes into lockdown over report an "active university professor" roving the grounds


Dozens injured at Ralph Lauren & Louis Vuitton headquarters after Ivanka calls in missile strikes on rival fashion houses


BOMBSHELL: Evidence proves Donald Trump conspired with his campaign to defeat Hillary Clinton


University ranked "very intolerant of free speech" fights the accusation by banning the study and all involved


Concerned that Russians don't consume enough alcohol in the month of March, Russia's Orthodox Church makes St. Patrick's Day​ official holiday


Grassroots group calls for "The Million Regulators March" on Washington, supported by all who fear the loss of their betters telling them what to do


Experts: Starbucks CEO Schultz's hiring of 10,000 Muslim refugees likely to blow up in his face


Politiks Will the groundprog be frightened by its own shadow and hide - or will there be another season of insane protests?


Trump signs executive order making California and New York national monuments; residents have two days to vacate


Politiks Women's March against fascism completed with 400,000 fewer deaths than anticipated


Feminist historians uncover ghastly concentration camps where so-called "housewives" were forced to live inauthentic lives slaving away in kitchens


Dictionary of the future: Global Warming was a popular computer simulation game, where the only way to win was not to play


"Anti-fascist" groups violently protest misspelling of their original name, "aren't-we-fascists"


Politiks Post-inauguration blues: millions of democrats distraught as the reality of having to find real jobs sets in


"Journalism is the continuation of war by other means" is exposed as a fake quote by mainstream media journalists


Politiks


Congressional Democrats: "We cannot just simply replace Obamacare with freedom because then millions of Americans will suddenly become free"


Schoolchildren jailed for building only white snowmen


Obama's reckless attacks on Russia serve as recruitment tool to create more Russian hackers


Hillary: "I lost, so I'm going to follow our democratic traditions, poison the wells, and scorch the earth"


Children in Venezuela cook and eat their Christmas toys


Hillary: "I can hack Russia from my bathroom"


Hillary suggests to counter "fake news" with government newspaper called "Truth" ("Pravda" for Russian speakers)


Politiks BREAKING: Millions of uncounted votes found on Hillary's private voting machine in her Chappaqua bathroom


New York Times: Fidel Castro world's sexiest corpse


After years of trial and error, CIA finally succeeds with the "waiting it out" technique on Fidel Castro


Politiks Post-election shopping tip: look for the PoliticsFree label at your local grocer to make sure you don't buy from companies that don't want your business anymore


In Hillary's America, email server scrubs you


Obama transfers his Nobel Peace Prize to anti-Trump rioters


Democrats blame Hillary's criminal e-mail server for her loss, demand it face prison


Politiks Afraid of "dangerous" Trump presidency, protesters pre-emptively burn America down to the ground


Clinton Foundation in foreclosure as foreign donors demand refunds


Hillary Clinton blames YouTube video for unexpected and spontaneous voter uprising that prevented her inevitable move into the White House


Sudden rise in sea levels explained by disproportionately large tears shed by climate scientists in the aftermath of Trump's electoral victory


FBI director Comey delighted after receiving Nobel Prize for Speed Reading (650,000 emails in one week)


U.N. deploys troops to American college campuses in order to combat staggeringly low rape rates


Responding to Trump's surging poll numbers, Obama preemptively pardons himself for treason


Following hurricane Matthew's failure to devastate Florida, activists flock to the Sunshine State and destroy Trump signs manually


Tim Kaine takes credit for interrupting hurricane Matthew while debating weather in Florida


Study: Many non-voters still undecided on how they're not going to vote


The Evolution of Dissent: on November 8th the nation is to decide whether dissent will stop being racist and become sexist - or it will once again be patriotic as it was for 8 years under George W. Bush


Venezuela solves starvation problem by making it mandatory to buy food


Breaking: the Clinton Foundation set to investigate the FBI


Obama ​​captures rare Pokémon ​​while visiting Hiroshima


Politiks Movie news: 'The Big Friendly Giant Government' flops at box office; audiences say "It's creepy"


Barack Obama: "If I had a son, he'd look like Micah Johnson"


White House edits Orlando 911 transcript to say shooter pledged allegiance to NRA and Republican Party


President George Washington: 'Redcoats do not represent British Empire; King George promotes a distorted version of British colonialism'


Following Obama's 'Okie-Doke' speech. stock of Okie-Doke soars; NASDAQ: 'Obama best Okie-Doke salesman'


Weaponized baby formula threatens Planned Parenthood office; ACLU demands federal investigation of Gerber


Experts: melting Antarctic glacier could cause sale levels to rise up to 80% off select items by this weekend


Travel advisory: airlines now offering flights to front of TSA line


As Obama instructs his administration to get ready for presidential transition, Trump preemptively purchases 'T' keys for White House keyboards


John Kasich self-identifies as GOP primary winner, demands access to White House bathroom


Upcoming Trump/Kelly interview on FoxNews sponsored by 'Let's Make a Deal' and 'The Price is Right'


News from 2017: once the evacuation of Lena Dunham and 90% of other Hollywood celebrities to Canada is confirmed, Trump resigns from presidency: "My work here is done"


Non-presidential candidate Paul Ryan pledges not to run for president in new non-presidential non-ad campaign


Trump suggests creating 'Muslim database'; Obama symbolically protests by shredding White House guest logs beginning 2009


National Enquirer: John Kasich's real dad was the milkman, not mailman


National Enquirer: Bound delegates from Colorado, Wyoming found in Ted Cruz’s basement


Iran breaks its pinky-swear promise not to support terrorism; US State Department vows rock-paper-scissors strategic response


Women across the country cheer as racist Democrat president on $20 bill is replaced by black pro-gun Republican


Federal Reserve solves budget crisis by writing itself a 20-trillion-dollar check


Widows, orphans claim responsibility for Brussels airport bombing


Politiks Che Guevara's son hopes Cuba's communism will rub off on US, proposes a long list of people the government should execute first


Susan Sarandon: "I don't vote with my vagina." Voters in line behind her still suspicious, use hand sanitizer


Campaign memo typo causes Hillary to court 'New Black Panties' vote


New Hampshire votes for socialist Sanders, changes state motto to "Live FOR Free or Die"


Martin O'Malley drops out of race after Iowa Caucus; nation shocked with revelation he has been running for president


Politiks Statisticians: one out of three Bernie Sanders supporters is just as dumb as the other two


Hillary campaign denies accusations of smoking-gun evidence in her emails, claims they contain only smoking-circumstantial-gun evidence


Politiks Obama stops short of firing US Congress upon realizing the difficulty of assembling another group of such tractable yes-men


In effort to contol wild passions for violent jihad, White House urges gun owners to keep their firearms covered in gun burkas


TV horror live: A Charlie Brown Christmas gets shot up on air by Mohammed cartoons


Politiks Democrats vow to burn the country down over Ted Cruz statement, 'The overwhelming majority of violent criminals are Democrats'


Russia's trend to sign bombs dropped on ISIS with "This is for Paris" found response in Obama administration's trend to sign American bombs with "Return to sender"


Politiks University researchers of cultural appropriation quit upon discovery that their research is appropriation from a culture that created universities


Archeologists discover remains of what Barack Obama has described as unprecedented, un-American, and not-who-we-are immigration screening process in Ellis Island


Politiks Mizzou protests lead to declaring entire state a "safe space," changing Missouri motto to "The don't show me state"


Green energy fact: if we put all green energy subsidies together in one-dollar bills and burn them, we could generate more electricity than has been produced by subsidized green energy


State officials improve chances of healthcare payouts by replacing ObamaCare with state lottery


NASA's new mission to search for racism, sexism, and economic inequality in deep space suffers from race, gender, and class power struggles over multibillion-dollar budget


Politiks College progress enforcement squads issue schematic humor charts so students know if a joke may be spontaneously laughed at or if regulations require other action


ISIS opens suicide hotline for US teens depressed by climate change and other progressive doomsday scenarios


Politiks Virginia county to close schools after teacher asks students to write 'death to America' in Arabic


'Wear hijab to school day' ends with spontaneous female circumcision and stoning of a classmate during lunch break


ISIS releases new, even more barbaric video in an effort to regain mantle from Planned Parenthood


Politiks Impressed by Fox News stellar rating during GOP debates, CNN to use same formula on Democrat candidates asking tough, pointed questions about Republicans


Shocking new book explores pros and cons of socialism, discovers they are same people


Politiks Pope outraged by Planned Parenthood's "unfettered capitalism," demands equal redistribution of baby parts to each according to his need


John Kerry accepts Iran's "Golden Taquiyya" award, requests jalapenos on the side


Citizens of Pluto protest US government's surveillance of their planetoid and its moons with New Horizons space drone


Politiks John Kerry proposes 3-day waiting period for all terrorist nations trying to acquire nuclear weapons


Chicago Police trying to identify flag that caused nine murders and 53 injuries in the city this past weekend


Cuba opens to affordable medical tourism for Americans who can't afford Obamacare deductibles


Politiks State-funded research proves existence of Quantum Aggression Particles (Heterons) in Large Hadron Collider


Student job opportunities: make big bucks this summer as Hillary’s Ordinary-American; all expenses paid, travel, free acting lessons


Politiks Experts debate whether Iranian negotiators broke John Kerry's leg or he did it himself to get out of negotiations


Junior Varsity takes Ramadi, advances to quarterfinals


US media to GOP pool of candidates: 'Knowing what we know now, would you have had anything to do with the founding of the United States?'


Politiks NY Mayor to hold peace talks with rats, apologize for previous Mayor's cowboy diplomacy


China launches cube-shaped space object with a message to aliens: "The inhabitants of Earth will steal your intellectual property, copy it, manufacture it in sweatshops with slave labor, and sell it back to you at ridiculously low prices"


Politiks Progressive scientists: Truth is a variable deduced by subtracting 'what is' from 'what ought to be'


Experts agree: Hillary Clinton best candidate to lessen percentage of Americans in top 1%


America's attempts at peace talks with the White House continue to be met with lies, stalling tactics, and bad faith


Starbucks new policy to talk race with customers prompts new hashtag #DontHoldUpTheLine


Politiks Hillary: DELETE is the new RESET


Charlie Hebdo receives Islamophobe 2015 award ; the cartoonists could not be reached for comment due to their inexplicable, illogical deaths


Politiks Russia sends 'reset' button back to Hillary: 'You need it now more than we do'


Barack Obama finds out from CNN that Hillary Clinton spent four years being his Secretary of State


President Obama honors Leonard Nimoy by taking selfie in front of Starship Enterprise


Police: If Obama had a convenience store, it would look like Obama Express Food Market


Politiks Study finds stunning lack of racial, gender, and economic diversity among middle-class white males


NASA: We're 80% sure about being 20% sure about being 17% sure about being 38% sure about 2014 being the hottest year on record


Politiks People holding '$15 an Hour Now' posters sue Democratic party demanding raise to $15 an hour for rendered professional protesting services


Cuba-US normalization: US tourists flock to see Cuba before it looks like the US and Cubans flock to see the US before it looks like Cuba


White House describes attacks on Sony Pictures as 'spontaneous hacking in response to offensive video mocking Juche and its prophet'


CIA responds to Democrat calls for transparency by releasing the director's cut of The Making Of Obama's Birth Certificate


Obama: 'If I had a city, it would look like Ferguson'


Politiks Biden: 'If I had a Ferguson (hic), it would look like a city'


Obama signs executive order renaming 'looters' to 'undocumented shoppers'


Ethicists agree: two wrongs do make a right so long as Bush did it first


Politiks The aftermath of the 'War on Women 2014' finds a new 'Lost Generation' of disillusioned Democrat politicians, unable to cope with life out of office


White House: Republican takeover of the Senate is a clear mandate from the American people for President Obama to rule by executive orders


Nurse Kaci Hickox angrily tells reporters that she won't change her clocks for daylight savings time


Democratic Party leaders in panic after recent poll shows most Democratic voters think 'midterm' is when to end pregnancy


Politiks Desperate Democratic candidates plead with Obama to stop backing them and instead support their GOP opponents


Ebola Czar issues five-year plan with mandatory quotas of Ebola infections per each state based on voting preferences


Politiks Study: crony capitalism is to the free market what the Westboro Baptist Church is to Christianity


Fun facts about world languages: the Left has more words for statism than the Eskimos have for snow


Politiks African countries to ban all flights from the United States because "Obama is incompetent, it scares us"


Nobel Peace Prize controversy: Hillary not nominated despite having done even less than Obama to deserve it


Obama: 'Ebola is the JV of viruses'


BREAKING: Secret Service foils Secret Service plot to protect Obama


Politiks Revised 1st Amendment: buy one speech, get the second free


Sharpton calls on white NFL players to beat their women in the interests of racial fairness


President Obama appoints his weekly approval poll as new national security adviser


Obama wags pen and phone at Putin; Europe offers support with powerful pens and phones from NATO members


Politiks White House pledges to embarrass ISIS back to the Stone Age with a barrage of fearsome Twitter messages and fatally ironic Instagram photos


Obama to fight ISIS with new federal Terrorist Regulatory Agency


Politiks Obama vows ISIS will never raise their flag over the eighteenth hole


Harry Reid: "Sometimes I say the wong thing"


Elian Gonzalez wishes he had come to the U.S. on a bus from Central America like all the other kids


Obama visits US-Mexican border, calls for a two-state solution


Politiks Obama draws "blue line" in Iraq after Putin took away his red crayon


"Hard Choices," a porno flick loosely based on Hillary Clinton's memoir and starring Hillary Hellfire as a drinking, whoring Secretary of State, wildly outsells the flabby, sagging original


Accusations of siding with the enemy leave Sgt. Bergdahl with only two options: pursue a doctorate at Berkley or become a Senator from Massachusetts


Politiks


Jay Carney stuck in line behind Eric Shinseki to leave the White House; estimated wait time from 15 min to 6 weeks


100% of scientists agree that if man-made global warming were real, "the last people we'd want to help us is the Obama administration"


Jay Carney says he found out that Obama found out that he found out that Obama found out that he found out about the latest Obama administration scandal on the news


"Anarchy Now!" meeting turns into riot over points of order, bylaws, and whether or not 'kicking the #^@&*! ass' of the person trying to speak is or is not violence


Obama retaliates against Putin by prohibiting unionized federal employees from dating hot Russian girls online during work hours


Politiks


Russian separatists in Ukraine riot over an offensive YouTube video showing the toppling of Lenin statues


Politiks "Free Speech Zones" confuse Obamaphone owners who roam streets in search of additional air minutes


Obamacare bolsters employment for professionals with skills to convert meth back into sudafed


Politiks Gloves finally off: Obama uses pen and phone to cancel Putin's Netflix account


Joe Biden to Russia: "We will bury you by turning more of Eastern Europe over to your control!"


In last-ditch effort to help Ukraine, Obama deploys Rev. Sharpton and Rev. Jackson's Rainbow Coalition to Crimea


Al Sharpton: "Not even Putin can withstand our signature chanting, 'racist, sexist, anti-gay, Russian army go away'!"


Politiks Mardi Gras in North Korea: "Throw me some food! "


Obama's foreign policy works: "War, invasion, and conquest are signs of weakness; we've got Putin right where we want him"


US offers military solution to Ukraine crisis: "We will only fight countries that have LGBT military"


Putin annexes Brighton Beach to protect ethnic Russians in Brooklyn, Obama appeals to UN and EU for help


Politiks The 1980s: "Mr. Obama, we're just calling to ask if you want our foreign policy back. The 1970s are right here with us, and they're wondering, too."


In a stunning act of defiance, Obama courageously unfriends Putin on Facebook


MSNBC: Obama secures alliance with Austro-Hungarian Empire against Russia’s aggression in Ukraine


Politiks Study: springbreak is to STDs what April 15th is to accountants


Efforts to achieve moisture justice for California thwarted by unfair redistribution of snow in America


North Korean voters unanimous: "We are the 100%"


Leader of authoritarian gulag-site, The People's Cube, unanimously 're-elected' with 100% voter turnout


Super Bowl: Obama blames Fox News for Broncos' loss


Politiks Feminist author slams gay marriage: "a man needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle"


Beverly Hills campaign heats up between Henry Waxman and Marianne Williamson over the widening income gap between millionaires and billionaires in their district


Biden to lower $10,000-a-plate Dinner For The Homeless to $5,000 so more homeless can attend


Kim becomes world leader, feeds uncle to dogs; Obama eats dogs, becomes world leader, America cries uncle


Politiks North Korean leader executes own uncle for talking about Obamacare at family Christmas party


White House hires part-time schizophrenic Mandela sign interpreter to help sell Obamacare


Kim Jong Un executes own "crazy uncle " to keep him from ruining another family Christmas


Politiks


Politiks


OFA admits its advice for area activists to give Obamacare Talk at shooting ranges was a bad idea


President resolves Obamacare debacle with executive order declaring all Americans equally healthy


Obama to Iran: "If you like your nuclear program, you can keep your nuclear program"


Politiks Bovine community outraged by flatulence coming from Washington DC


Obama: "I'm not particularly ideological; I believe in a good pragmatic five-year plan"


Shocker: Obama had no knowledge he'd been reelected until he read about it in the local newspaper last week


Politiks Server problems at HealthCare.gov so bad, it now flashes 'Error 808' message


NSA marks National Best Friend Day with official announcement: "Government is your best friend; we know you like no one else, we're always there, we're always willing to listen"


Al Qaeda cancels attack on USA citing launch of Obamacare as devastating enough


Politiks


The President's latest talking point on Obamacare: "I didn't build that"


Politiks Dizzy with success, Obama renames his wildly popular healthcare mandate to HillaryCare


Carney: huge ObamaCare deductibles won't look as bad come hyperinflation


Washington Redskins drop 'Washington' from their name as offensive to most Americans


Poll: 83% of Americans favor cowboy diplomacy over rodeo clown diplomacy


Politiks GOVERNMENT WARNING: If you were able to complete ObamaCare form online, it wasn't a legitimate gov't website; you should report online fraud and change all your passwords


Obama administration gets serious, threatens Syria with ObamaCare


Obama authorizes the use of Vice President Joe Biden's double-barrel shotgun to fire a couple of blasts at Syria


Sharpton: "British royals should have named baby 'Trayvon.' By choosing 'George' they sided with white Hispanic racist Zimmerman"


Politiks DNC launches 'Carlos Danger' action figure; proceeds to fund a charity helping survivors of the Republican War on Women


Nancy Pelosi extends abortion rights to the birds and the bees


Hubble discovers planetary drift to the left


Obama: 'If I had a daughter-in-law, she would look like Rachael Jeantel'


Politiks FISA court rubberstamps statement denying its portrayal as government's rubber stamp


Every time ObamaCare gets delayed, a Julia somewhere dies


GOP to Schumer: 'Force full implementation of ObamaCare before 2014 or Dems will never win another election'


Politiks Obama: 'If I had a son. no, wait, my daughter can now marry a woman!'


Janet Napolitano: TSA findings reveal that since none of the hijackers were babies, elderly, or Tea Partiers, 9/11 was not an act of terrorism


News Flash: Sen. Mary Landrieu (D-LA) can see Canada from South Dakota


Politiks Susan Rice: IRS actions against tea parties caused by anti-tax YouTube video that was insulting to their faith


Drudge Report reduces font to fit all White House scandals onto one page


Obama: the IRS is a constitutional right, just like the Second Amendment


Politiks White House: top Obama officials using secret email accounts a result of bad IT advice to avoid spam mail from Nigeria


Jay Carney to critics: 'Pinocchio never said anything inconsistent'


Obama: If I had a gay son, he'd look like Jason Collins


Politiks Gosnell's office in Benghazi raided by the IRS: mainstream media's worst cover-up challenge to date


IRS targeting pro-gay-marriage LGBT groups leads to gayest tax revolt in U.S. history


Politiks After Arlington Cemetery rejects offer to bury Boston bomber, Westboro Babtist Church steps up with premium front lawn plot


Boston: Obama Administration to reclassify marathon bombing as 'sportsplace violence'


Study: Success has many fathers but failure becomes a government program


Politiks US Media: Can Pope Francis possibly clear up Vatican bureaucracy and banking without blaming the previous administration?


Michelle Obama praises weekend rampage by Chicago teens as good way to burn calories and stay healthy


This Passover, Obama urges his subjects to paint lamb's blood above doors in order to avoid the Sequester


Politiks
White House to American children: Sequester causes layoffs among hens that lay Easter eggs; union-wage Easter Bunnies to be replaced by Mexican Chupacabras


Time Mag names Hugo Chavez world's sexiest corpse


Boy, 8, pretends banana is gun, makes daring escape from school


Study: Free lunches overpriced, lack nutrition


Politiks Oscars 2013: Michelle Obama announces long-awaited merger of Hollywood and the State


Joe Salazar defends the right of women to be raped in gun-free environment: 'rapists and rapees should work together to prevent gun violence for the common good'


Dept. of Health and Human Services eliminates rape by reclassifying assailants as 'undocumented sex partners'


Politiks Kremlin puts out warning not to photoshop Putin riding meteor unless bare-chested


Deeming football too violent, Obama moves to introduce Super Drone Sundays instead


Japan offers to extend nuclear umbrella to cover U.S. should America suffer devastating attack on its own defense spending


Feminists organize one billion women to protest male oppression with one billion lap dances


Urban community protests Mayor Bloomberg's ban on extra-large pop singers owning assault weapons


Concerned with mounting death toll, Taliban offers to send peacekeeping advisers to Chicago


Karl Rove puts an end to Tea Party with new 'Republicans For Democrats' strategy aimed at losing elections


Answering public skepticism, President Obama authorizes unlimited drone attacks on all skeet targets throughout the country


Skeet Ulrich denies claims he had been shot by President but considers changing his name to 'Traps'


Politiks White House releases new exciting photos of Obama standing, sitting, looking thoughtful, and even breathing in and out


New York Times hacked by Chinese government, Paul Krugman's economic policies stolen


White House: when President shoots skeet, he donates the meat to food banks that feed the middle class


To prove he is serious, Obama eliminates armed guard protection for President, Vice-President, and their families; establishes Gun-Free Zones around them instead


Politiks


State Dept to send 100,000 American college students to China as security for US debt obligations


Jay Carney: Al Qaeda is on the run, they're just running forward


Politiks President issues executive orders banning cliffs, ceilings, obstructions, statistics, and other notions that prevent us from moving forwards and upward


Fearing the worst, Obama Administration outlaws the fan to prevent it from being hit by certain objects


World ends; S&P soars


Riddle of universe solved; answer not understood


Politiks Meek inherit Earth, can't afford estate taxes


Greece abandons Euro; accountants find Greece has no Euros anyway


Wheel finally reinvented; axles to be gradually reinvented in 3rd quarter of 2013


Politiks Bigfoot found in Ohio, mysteriously not voting for Obama


As Santa's workshop files for bankruptcy, Fed offers bailout in exchange for control of 'naughty and nice' list


Freak flying pig accident causes bacon to fly off shelves


Politiks


Politiks Obama: green economy likely to transform America into a leading third world country of the new millennium


Report: President Obama to visit the United States in the near future


Obama promises to create thousands more economically neutral jobs


Politiks Modernizing Islam: New York imam proposes to canonize Saul Alinsky as religion's latter day prophet


Imam Rauf's peaceful solution: 'Move Ground Zero a few blocks away from the mosque and no one gets hurt'


Study: Obama's threat to burn tax money in Washington 'recruitment bonanza' for Tea Parties


Study: no Social Security reform will be needed if gov't raises retirement age to at least 814 years


Politiks


Politiks Obama attends church service, worships self


Politiks Obama proposes national 'Win The Future' lottery; proceeds of new WTF Powerball to finance more gov't spending


Politiks Historical revisionists: "Hey, you never know"


Vice President Biden: criticizing Egypt is un-pharaoh


Israelis to Egyptian rioters: "don't damage the pyramids, we will not rebuild"


Lake Superior renamed Lake Inferior in spirit of tolerance and inclusiveness


Politiks Al Gore: It's a shame that a family can be torn apart by something as simple as a pack of polar bears


Michael Moore: As long as there is anyone with money to shake down, this country is not broke


Obama's teleprompters unionize, demand collective bargaining rights


Obama calls new taxes 'spending reductions in tax code.' Elsewhere rapists tout 'consent reductions in sexual intercourse'


Politiks Obama's teleprompter unhappy with White House Twitter: "Too few words"


Obama's Regulation Reduction committee finds US Constitution to be expensive outdated framework inefficiently regulating federal gov't


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Taking a page from the Reagan years, Obama announces new era of Perestroika and Glasnost


Politiks Responding to Oslo shootings, Obama declares Christianity "Religion of Peace," praises "moderate Christians," promises to send one into space


Politiks


Republicans block Obama's $420 billion program to give American families free charms that ward off economic bad luck


White House to impose Chimney tax on Santa Claus


Obama decrees the economy is not soaring as much as previously decreeed


Conservative think tank introduces children to capitalism with pop-up picture book "The Road to Smurfdom"


Politiks Al Gore proposes to combat Global Warming by extracting silver linings from clouds in Earth's atmosphere


Obama refutes charges of him being unresponsive to people's suffering: "When you pray to God, do you always hear a response?"


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Politiks Obama regrets the US government didn't provide his mother with free contraceptives when she was in college


Fluke to Congress: drill, baby, drill!


Planned Parenthood introduces Frequent Flucker reward card: 'Come again soon!'


Obama to tornado victims: 'We inherited this weather from the previous administration'


Politiks Obama congratulates Putin on Chicago-style election outcome


People's Cube gives itself Hero of Socialist Labor medal in recognition of continued expert advice provided to the Obama Administration helping to shape its foreign and domestic policies


Hamas: Israeli air defense unfair to 99% of our missiles, "only 1% allowed to reach Israel"


Politiks Democrat strategist: without government supervision, women would have never evolved into humans


Voters Without Borders oppose Texas new voter ID law


Enraged by accusation that they are doing Obama's bidding, media leaders demand instructions from White House on how to respond


Politiks


Politiks Obama blames previous Olympics for failure to win at this Olympics


Official: China plans to land on Moon or at least on cheap knockoff thereof


Koran-Contra: Obama secretly arms Syrian rebels


Poll: Progressive slogan 'We should be more like Europe' most popular with members of American Nazi Party


Politiks Obama to Evangelicals: Jesus saves, I just spend


May Day: Anarchists plan, schedule, synchronize, and execute a coordinated campaign against all of the above


Midwestern farmers hooked on new erotic novel "50 Shades of Hay"


Study: 99% of Liberals give the rest a bad name


Obama meets with Jewish leaders, proposes deeper circumcisions for the rich


Politiks Historians: Before HOPE & CHANGE there was HEMP & CHOOM at ten bucks a bag


Cancer once again fails to cure Venezuela of its "President for Life"


Tragic spelling error causes Muslim protesters to burn local boob-tube factory


Politiks Secretary of Energy Steven Chu: due to energy conservation, the light at the end of the tunnel will be switched off


Politiks Obama Administration running food stamps across the border with Mexico in an operation code-named "Fat And Furious"


Politiks Pakistan explodes in protest over new Adobe Acrobat update; 17 local acrobats killed


White House: "Let them eat statistics"


Special Ops: if Benedict Arnold had a son, he would look like Barack Obama


PolitiksPolitiks


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THE PARTY ORGAN.Mother Page <|> Karl Marx Treatment Center Politiks<|> GroupThink Forum <|> Current Truth Blog <|>Politiks Current Truth Forum <|> People's Blog <|> People's Forum . PARTY APPROVED MOVEMENTS. The Communist Manifesto Politiks<|> Religion Of Peace™: Islam & Red Jihad Politiks<|> Global Warming Politiks Climate Change <|> Media the Lapdog for Obama <|> People's Competition <|> People's Contest <|> People's Cube Ads <|> A Worwmhole Into The Progressive Future . ORIENTATION FOR NEWLY ARRIVED THOUGHTCRIMINALS.PolitiksWelcome Message To New ThoughtcriminalsPolitiks<|> Orientation Training For New Thoughtcriminals Politiks<|> You might be guilty of thoughtcrime if. Politiks<|> The Purpose of This Site Politiks<|>Politiks The People's Glossary™ <|> People's Tools <|>Politiks Red Primer for Children and Diplomats <|>Politiks Submissions <|> The Purges <|>Politiks Jiffi-Lobo™ <|> PeopleMath™ <|>Politiks Gulag for Trolls . QUIZZES. Guilt Quiz <|> Interactive Collective Quiz . TRUTH GENERATORS. Progressive Truth Generator™ <|> Group Name Picker Politiks<|> NY Times Headlines Predictor . VISUAL AGITATION. Party-Approved Signs & Posters <|>PolitiksTea Party Posters. Complete Collection, Free Downloads <|>Politiks Obama HOPE Poster Parodies Politiks<|> Obama HOPE Poster Cards <|>Politiks Protest Posters . MUSIC & VIDEOS. Red Square Records Politiks<|> People's Karaoke: Progressive sing-alongs <|>Politiks People's Songs: For collective dancing and marching <|> Wild Party-Approved Videos <|> The People's Videos . COMMISSARS & 5th COLUMNISTS :. Al Gore, People's I.T. Guy <|>Politiks Paul Kurgman <|>Politiks Hillary, People's Leader <|>Politiks Doctor Fuku <|> Dr. Idi Amin <|> For The Greater Bad(by $$ Halliburton) <|> KG3 <|> Laika The Space Dog <|>Politiks Lenin's Nook <|> Comrade Mr. Snuggle Bunny <|>Politiks Dr. Palimpsest <|> Buck The NPR Host <|>Politiks Ask A Comrade <|> Angie Comics . SHOP.People's Dry Goods Store: State-Run Store #86 <|> The People's Cube <|>Politiks Obama Playing Cards <|>Politiks <|>Politiks People's T-shirts <|>Politiks <|>Politiks People's Cube Classics <|>Politiks People's Political Humor & Satire Nyet . FIN


©* 1917 - 2100 Politburo and Central Committee of the Socialist Unity Party, Ministry of Truth, Comrades of Armed Organs, Young Pioneer Organizations, Komsomol, Society for Sport and Technology, Society for Advancement of Secondary Sexual Characteristics, People's Political Humor & Satire Nyet Collective, and other groups and collectives of our great Socialist Amerikan Motherland. * People's Property notification (known as copyright in the degraded non-socialist economic region of dying capitalism)

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